You might have thought the first "Saturday Night Live" opening sketch to air after President Donald Trump's acquittal would focus on his non-apology tour at the State of the Union and National Prayer Breakfast, but you'd be as wrong as Maine Senator Susan Collins assuming he'd learned his lesson.
Nope, the show started with the latest Democratic debate, or, as moderator George Stephanopoulos (Mikey Day) put it, America's chance to meet its "future MSNBC contributors."
Was former Vice President Joe Biden (Jason Sudeikis) worried about his poor performance in Iowa? "I'll admit it, losing Iowa was a real kick in the nads. But by the time we get to South Cackylacky, Joe Biden is going to do what Joe Biden does best: creep up from behind and kiss you on the neck."
Whom did Colin Jost's Pete Buttigieg think really won the Iowa Caucus, in which he initially claimed victory, only to have Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders do the same a few days later? "Donald Trump."
Sanders (Larry David) couldn't believe "all this mess happened in Iowa because of an app," and proposed they scrap all the tech going forward and "show up at the polling place, take a number like you do at the butcher. They call your ticket, you walk up to the counter and say to the guy, 'Give me a pound of whatever's about to go bad.'"
Andrew Yang (Bowen Yang) interjected: "The issue in Iowa was math? I wonder who they could've called to fix that."
Sen. Elizabeth Warren, played by Kate McKinnon, wanted to leave Iowa behind and talk about the "here and now" and hyped her ability to "connect with New Hampshire moms who own big dogs and rock a fleece vest seven days a week." After all, she pointed out, "New Hampshire, your state border might be kissing Vermont but your (butt) is resting on Massachusetts. So come on over and grab it."
Know what her biggest donations have been? "The pennies from loafers and whatever the concerned moms of Bernie Bros can afford."
The topic of connecting with non-white voters prompted Minnesota Senator Amy Klobuchar (Rachel Dratch) to drop a clumsy Super Bowl halftime show reference, "Guess what? Elizabeth is JLo and I'm Shakira."
Jost's Buttigieg acknowledged he isn't polling that well with minorities: "They've been referring to me as Mayo Pete. I assure you, I'm not that spicy." But he was hopeful he could "get #WhiteObama trending and not ironically."
Yang's Yang suggested the way to appeal to black voters was giving them $1,000: "Works for me," he pointed out, noting, "I've been doing it since high school."
Day's Stephanopoulos then stepped in to remind viewers of the debate's sponsor: Michael Bloomberg. "Are you a registered Democrat who's thinking, 'Are these my only choice? Think Bloomberg. He's not as short as Trump is fat."
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February 09, 2020 at 12:43PM
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'SNL' rips Iowa Caucus: Democratic contenders try to take the spotlight back from Trump - USA TODAY
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